


Stitch

by lupwned



Series: Scars [3]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV), swan queen - Fandom
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Child Abuse, F/F, Femslash, Hurt/Comfort, Mutilation, Scars, Swan Queen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-12
Updated: 2012-09-12
Packaged: 2017-11-14 03:08:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/510679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupwned/pseuds/lupwned
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Her mother had been right. She would never be rid of her. Cora was Regina Mills' living nightmare. Part 3 of the Scars series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stitch

Regina sat on the edge of the cold metal examination table with her legs dangling over the side. Her eyes were focused in her lap and she nervously played with her fingers, picking at a hangnail on her index finger. The brunette tugged at the loose skin just enough to draw a thin shimmer of blood.

 “Don’t do that,” Emma said sternly before taking Regina’s hand lovingly in her own. She tucked a few strands of hair behind the older woman’s ear, trying to clear away the pieces that were stuck to her tear stained cheeks. She rubbed her thumb back and forth gently over her lover’s cheek soothingly.

Regina could feel the little bit of resolve she still held slipping at the intimately soft caress of Emma’s hand on her face. She wanted to give in, to tell Emma everything that had happened to her, everything she had been through, her battle with self hate and loathing. The brunette slowly dragged her eyes up the young woman’s form before meeting her gaze. She took a deep breath and opened her mouth to speak when a white coated figure walked through the door, staring intently at a chart.

Emma pulled away at the sudden invasion of their personal space. She knew how Regina felt about the two of them showing any sort of intimacy, any semblance of their relationship, in public. She had tried many times before to hold the brunette’s hand as they walked down the street or wrap her arm lovingly around her waist at public events, only to have the Mayor pull away, embarrassed, followed by a lecture at home that ‘ _she just wasn’t ready for **that** ’_. “I’ll let you have some privacy,” Emma said, patting the top of Regina’s hand. She turned to move when she suddenly felt the brunette’s long fingers wrap around her wrist.

“Please don’t go,” Regina pled. Emma could feel the older woman’s hand trembling around her arm. The blonde studied the fragile woman across from her. Her eyes were bright red and puffy from crying and her cheeks were flushed from the pain and adrenaline. Strands of tear soaked hair were stuck to her face at all angles.  She looked so small, so defeated in Emma’s sweatpants and t-shirt, the only things she could find to throw on her girlfriend before driving recklessly to the hospital. Her eyes shimmered with fear and loneliness, pleading for the comfort, the display of affection she desperately wanted but had always refused to give in to.

Emma quickly returned to Regina’s right side.

 “Ms. Mills,” Dr. Whale greeted, “My nurse has informed me that you came in with some pretty nasty gashes that will require stitches.” He walked over to the supply table and dug in one of the drawers, pulling out a pair of surgical scissors, a small tube of some kind of cream, and a sterilized packet that held the material for the stitches. “What exactly happened?”

Regina’s eyes locked onto Emma’s in panic. If she told Dr. Whale the truth, they would no doubt put her in the psychiatric ward. Hell, she probably deserved it. She bit her lower lip as it began to quiver fearfully.

Emma stepped closer to her counterpart and rested a supportive hand on her shoulder. The blonde’s voice cut through the silence. “Ms. Mills bought a new dress for the ball this evening and had a very bad reaction to it. She’s apparently really allergic to the material and was scratching so much that it made her skin raw.” Emma darted her eyes toward Regina, who was once again sitting with her hands in her lap, her head tilted down slightly.

Dr. Whale eyed the pair suspiciously. “Is that what happened?” he asked, unconvinced.

Regina merely nodded, refusing to acknowledge the Doctor’s accusatory gaze.

“Alright, well, like I said, you are going to need stitches. I’m going to put a local anesthetic on the area, but it may still hurt. I apologize in advance.” He reached into a cardboard box on the table and pulled two latex gloves out, sliding them onto his hands with a loud “ _snap_ ”. Regina winced at the sound. It sounded oddly similar to the noise that belts make when they crack angrily against skin…

Emma looked down at Regina lovingly and laced the fingers of one hand with hers. She rested her left cheek on the brunette’s head before placing a chaste kiss there. “It’s gonna be ok,” the blonde assured, barely a whisper.  She parted from Regina’s side for only a moment to grab a chair. Situating herself next to the examination table, Emma reached out and took the older woman’s hand as they waited for Dr. Whale to begin.

Regina shivered as she felt her t-shirt being tugged up over her back. She closed her eyes and squeezed the blonde’s hand tight in fearful anticipation as she heard the sound of the sterilized packet crunching open. She winced when the Doctor’s calloused fingers brushed against the outline of her broken skin, cleaning the swollen flesh with an alcohol pad before applying a thin layer of anesthetic cream. “Alright, I’m going to begin stitching now,” he informed.

Emma watched in horror as the Doctor pulled a long, thin needle out from the package and inched it close to the small of Regina’s back. Emma Swan avoided hospitals like the plague but she knew one thing – long needles meant pain. She not so gracefully scooted her chair in front of where the brunette’s legs dangled off the examination table and took both of the older woman’s hands in hers, squeezing.

Regina said nothing as Dr. Whale began stitching her skin back together. She bowed her head and closed her eyes.

_“Daddy,” Regina had cried, running into the old man’s arms. She pressed a tear stained cheek into his chest and clung to him. “It won’t stop bleeding.”_

_“My dear child, what are you talking about?” Henry Mills asked, kissing the top of his daughter’s head. He looked down as he clutched his daughter close and noticed the growing red stain on the back of her white nightgown. He gently pushed her an arm’s length away and looked at her, concerned. “What happened?”_

_The young woman said nothing, casting her gaze down and playing with a hangnail on her index finger._

_“She’s done this to you, hasn’t she?” Henry asked as the anger began to boil his blood._

_Regina bit her tongue._

_“We must get you to the Doctor.”_

_The brunette looked up in terror. “Daddy, if she finds out I told you, she’ll…”_

_Henry ignored his daughter’s pleas and grabbed her hand, urging her down the hallway toward the Doctor’s quarters._

_A wave of panic washed over Regina. The things her mother would do if she found out that she had not only told her father of the ‘accident’ with the scissors, but that she was being treated for it…She stopped, digging her heels into the floor and pulling her hand away from her father. She turned her head and flashed her gaze backward, checking to see if there was any escape, anywhere she could run. The brunette gasped when she felt her father wrap his hand around her wrist and tug. “It will be ok,” he assured, lacing his fingers with his daughter’s and pulling her along once again._

_The Doctor’s quarters were only down the hall from where Regina had found her father. It was a short run, and when they arrived only a moment later, Henry slammed his palms against the door and pushed, making his presence overwhelmingly known._

_“Regina’s had…an accident,” the old man explained as the Doctor looked up from the book that sat open on his desk. “This must be kept quiet. Do you understand?”_

_The younger man nodded and patted the chair next to him. The girl hesitantly walked over to it and sat, her back to the Doctor. He very carefully untied the ribbon that held Regina’s nightgown together and it fell open slightly, revealing the thin lines of broken open skin that lined the small of her back. The Doctor’s eyes went wide. “Oh dear,” he whispered. “It is ok, dear child, I will take care of you.” He ran over to his drawer full of primitive supplies and grabbed a needle and black surgical thread. “She will need stitches. It may hurt at first, young Miss, but I assure you it will make everything feel better very soon, ok?”_

_Regina nodded. She kept still on the stool as the Doctor moved behind her. His warm, calloused hands brushed the wounded skin and she yelped. The young man apologized before pressing the tip of the very sharp needle into her back. A shower of tears fell from Regina’s eyes but she remained quiet, trained in obedience._

_The young girl gasped as a cloud of purple smoke appeared in front of her and her mother’s form came into view. “I should have known I would find you here,” Cora hissed. With a twist of her wrist, the Doctor was thrown roughly into the corner of the room. She reached forward and grabbed a fistful of Regina’s long brown curls, pulling as hard as she could until she stood in front of her. “Not only are you disobedient, but you are untrustworthy. I told you I did this for your own good, and you still haven’t learned.” She paused for effect. “But you will.” Cora pulled her daughter flush against her. Her pitch black eyes bore into her daughter’s and they stood for a moment, silent. And then, all at once, the purple smoke enveloped them and they disappeared into darkness._

Regina hadn’t realized she’d been crying until she felt the pad of Emma’s thumb brush against her cheek to wipe away the wetness. She kept her eyes closed and reveled in the feel of the younger woman’s soft caress.

“That should do it,” Dr. Whale informed before taking the used supplies over to the hazardous materials box and throwing them away. Emma removed her hand from the brunette’s cheek and stood. Regina whimpered deep in her throat the loss of contact. “Keep the area clean and covered as much as possible. You will need to set up an appointment for a week from now to have them removed. There may be a little bit of bleeding but if it is in excess or there are any signs of infection, come back right away.” He walked over to the desk tucked in the corner and pulled out a prescription pad. “I’m going to write you a prescription for the pain. Some of those gashes were pretty deep and when the anesthetic wears off, they’re going to be sore.” Dr. Whale scribbled some instructions and dosages on a pad and handed the piece of paper to Regina. “There are some side effects to these. The most common I’ve seen are nausea, drowsiness and nightmares. If you experience any of them, stop taking them.” He turned his gaze to Emma, who was listening intently. She nodded in understanding.

 Dr. Whale made his way to the door and opened it. “You’re free to go unless you have any questions. Just take it easy, Madame Mayor.”

Regina nodded and watched as he left the examination room. She hopped off the table and winced as a bolt of pain struck down her spine. Reaching back with one hand, she tenderly rubbed around the newly stitched skin.

“Are you alright?” Emma asked, wrapping her arm carefully around Regina’s waist. She felt as though she had been slapped in the face when she felt the brunette pull away.

“I’m fine,” Regina lied, hobbling over to the door. “I just want to go home.”

“Ok,” the blonde sighed. She dug in her jeans pocket and pulled out her keys. “Let me pick up your prescription from the pharmacy and then we’ll go, ok?”

“Fine.”

Emma let out a frustrated sigh and brushed past Regina who was resting her hip on the doorframe. This sweet one minute, cold the next thing was infuriating. She turned and outstretched her hand toward the brunette. “The prescription?”

Regina handed the piece of paper to the blonde. But even after it was in Emma’s grasp, she held onto the girl’s hand and stepped forward. She looked at her partner with sparkling, tear soaked eyes. “Emma, I…” She moved closer. Regina stared at the blonde’s emerald orbs and shivered. Confessions of love and fear swirled in her head and she parted her lips as if to speak but her voice faltered, nothing more than a soft whimper escaping. “Thank you.” It was all she could manage to get out before her voice cracked.

Emma smiled and placed a chaste kiss on the older woman’s forehead. “I’ll be right back.”

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The car ride home was silent. Regina just gazed emptily out the window while Emma rested her right hand on the brunette’s thigh and rubbed it absentmindedly. The gesture was warm and gentle, caring. Regina shivered. There was so much to say, but so few words to express the multitude of feelings churning in the pit of her stomach. The dark part of her wanted to push Emma away and insist that whatever it was between them was an infatuation and nothing more, that she refused to confide in a woman that was just a notch in her bedpost; and yet, every time the blonde touched her or caressed her or just _looked_ at her, she felt her broken heart healing and her willingness to confide in Emma growing. She desperately wanted to tell her about everything- about the abuse, about Daniel, about how she was falling head over heels in lo- Regina trembled. The thought of being able to give in to love terrified her. _Everything_ she had loved hurt her in some way. She had loved her father, and he had betrayed her and done nothing to save her from her wretched childhood. Daniel had loved her and promised he would protect her and had failed. Hell, somewhere deep down in a sick twisted way she had loved her mother, even after the beatings and the absolute destruction of her innocent psyche.

Regina turned her head and studied Emma as she kept her eyes safely on the road. Why was Emma doing this? Why, of all people, did she want to be with _her_? Emma Swan was breathtaking, miraculous, stunning, could have any man or woman she wanted. So why, then, did she want a woman with a fragmented heart who could give her no promise of everlasting love? Who could give her no solace and peace? Who would pick a fight more often than not, not because she was angry but because it was the only way she was capable of showing raw emotion? Who would, more likely than not, break her to the point where just the mention of Regina’s name would leave a sour taste in her mouth? Maybe she was just trying to lead her into a false sense of security so she could break the curse. She shifted in her seat and willed Emma’s hand away from her thigh.

Emma turned her head for a moment and, catching Regina still staring at her, flashed a sweet, loving smile. She reached out her hand and brushed the pad of her thumb across the brunette’s cheek.

Regina savored the caress as she had in the examination room and, as much as her broken heart screamed for her to pull away, she leaned in and absorbed the warmth of Emma’s skin.

Maybe this Savior wasn’t here to break the curse, wasn’t here to break anything at all. Maybe, just _maybe_ , she was here to mend the Evil Queen’s broken heart.

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Emma wrapped her arm carefully around Regina and walked toward the large master bedroom. The brunette’s eyes flashed toward her son’s room, panic creeping up her throat as she feared he had been left home alone this whole time. She let out a sigh of relief as she slowly remembered that Henry was with Mary Margaret for the evening on account of the Mayoral Ball. Regina certainly didn’t want her son to see her like this – frail, pained, bloody, and clutching Emma Swan for dear life.

Emma gently led Regina to the edge of the bed and sat her down. “Do you want pajamas?” she asked, walking over to the dresser drawer.

Regina nodded and waited for the younger woman to fish something out for her to wear. After a moment, she returned with a pair of grey shorts and a matching lace trim top from Victoria’s Secret. Emma sat next to Regina, holding the clothes, and smiled. “I figured you would want something a little more comfortable than a nightie,” she teased, bumping her shoulder playfully against the brunette’s.

Regina flashed Emma a weak smile before turning her body slightly to grab the pajamas from the other woman’s grasp. She hissed between her teeth as the warm broken skin on her lower back began to throb.

“I’ll help you,” the younger woman offered.

Regina eyed Emma reluctantly, nervous at the idea of any more vulnerability. She was too exhausted to fight, however, and instead lifted her arms slowly in the air so that the blonde could pull the t-shirt from her form. The brunette shivered as Emma’s fingertips brushed beneath the shirt and tugged it over her head. Regina’s eyes grew wide when she finally got a glimpse of the tee that was now draped next to her on the bed. The entire lower back of it was stained deep red. The brunette blushed. “I’m sorry,” she whispered softly, looking at Emma, who had fallen to her knees in front of her to help tug the sweatpants off Regina’s hips and down her legs.

“For what?” the blonde asked, wrinkling her forehead and raising one eyebrow questioningly.

_For hurting myself and in turn hurting you. For keeping my past hidden from you no matter how kind you are, no matter how much you help me. For refusing to admit I’m in love with you when it’s painfully obvious I am…_

“For ruining your t-shirt.” Regina gestured to the shirt.

“Pfft.” Emma shrugged. “It’s an old thing, don’t worry about it.” She pulled the sweats from around the brunette’s ankles and folded them neatly on top of the ruined tee. Next, the blonde grabbed the tank and placed it delicately over Regina, making sure it was loose around the newly stitched skin. She knelt down once more and began to slide the grey shorts up the brunette’s legs. Her fingertips brushed ever so softly up her ankle, to the little bend of her knee, and then over the outside of Regina’s smooth thigh.

The older woman’s lips parted and a soft, breathy gasp escaped at the feel of Emma’s gentle touch. The caress was sweet, innocent and it made Regina’s heart race.

Emma tapped Regina’s hipbone, signaling for her to lift her hips up so she could pull the pants over them. The brunette complied without protest. With Regina fully dressed, the younger woman shifted on her knees and tried to stand once again but was stopped by a pair of hands on her shoulders. Emma titled her head and caught Regina’s gaze. She rested her palms on her counterpart’s legs and simply smiled at her, waiting for her to speak.

Regina reached forward and cupped Emma’s face in her hands, her thumb stroking the younger woman’s cheek as she had done to her only hours before. She inched closer to the girl and hovered her lips close. Their breath was warm but the feel of Emma’s across her jaw and cheek made Regina shiver. She wanted to kiss her, to let the heat of their embrace melt away the barrier around her heart…but she _couldn’t._ The brunette closed her eyes at the feel of liquid sadness brimming and a solitary tear slid down her cheek. Regina rested her forehead on Emma’s and let out a soft cry.

Emma reached out and brushed the tear away from Regina’s face. “It’s been a long day,” she said, taking the older woman’s hand in hers. “You should get some rest. Tomorrow is a new day, ok?”

Regina nodded and stood, walking over to her side of the bed. She untucked the blanket and sheet from underneath the mattress and climbed into bed. Curled up on her right side, the brunette nuzzled her face against the cotton material of her pillowcase and exhaled. Regina closed her eyes and waited for Emma to slink into the bed next to her. The blonde did just that only a moment later, settling on her side and pulling the covers securely over the both of them. “Goodnight,” she whispered before leaning in and placing a few soft kisses on the back of Regina’s shoulder blade. 

Regina never let Emma hold her in bed. She felt it was too intimate of a gesture and pushed the blonde away to the point where she didn’t even try anymore. Yet, tonight felt different. Regina had already let her resolve crumble slightly, and she had reveled all night in the soft caresses Emma gave on her cheek and thigh. Taking a deep breath, the brunette turned onto her left side and curled close into Emma’s body. She reached out and gently grabbed Emma’s arm, draping it around her middle just above her wound. Regina buried her face in the nape of the girl’s neck; she couldn’t help but feel a smile tug on her lips as a soft gasp of astonishment crept from the younger woman’s throat. “Goodnight, Emma,” she whispered against the girl’s pulse point. She closed her eyes and waited for sleep to wash over her.

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Regina’s eyes shot open wide as she struggled to catch her breath. She had fallen asleep for a few hours when the image of her mother’s face close to hers clouded her dreams. It was the same incident she had seen in the doctor’s office when she had closed her eyes – her mother’s face mere inches from hers, her grasp tight in her flowing locks, eyes piercing through her before purple smoke enveloped them and they were lost in darkness. It frightened her and she woke abruptly. Sticky sweat lined the brunette’s forehead and her chest; her heart was practically lodged in her throat. A dull pain had begun to emanate from her back up her spine and she winced as she moved back onto her left side. Emma had apparently rolled over in her sleep, her back now facing Regina.

The brunette sat up slightly, her left arm balanced on her elbow with her head relaxed in her palm. She reached out her free hand and hesitantly let it linger over Emma’s back. She was wearing a dark blue tank that left her shoulders exposed, and the hem of the material had ridden up to show an expanse of smooth skin. The arch of her back was defined and sensual, practically calling to Regina to touch it. The older woman scooted closer and brushed her fingertips lightly over the dip in Emma’s back, trailing them down to the tiny dimples that lay above her behind. She swirled her fingertip around the little indents before splaying her palm across the entirety of the skin that lay before her. It was soft and porcelain, devoid of any scars or scratches.

Regina bit her tongue as tears welled up in her eyes. She wanted to be beautiful for Emma. She wanted to be soft and smooth, warm and unmarked.

Regina reached down and brushed the expanse of blonde tresses away from the back of Emma’s neck. She leaned down and ever so softly trailed her lips across the skin there before working her way down to kiss each bare shoulder blade. The brunette let her lips linger against the warm flesh until she felt the younger woman stir. Regina moved back slightly.

Emma turned her head and blinked groggily at the woman beside her. “Are you ok?” she asked, her voice deep and laced with sleep. She rubbed at her eyes and squinted.

“I’m fine,” Regina said. “Go back to sleep.”

“Is your back bothering you?” Emma asked, ignoring the fact that the brunette had just, in fact, told her she was fine.

“It’s fine, dear. Please, sleep.”

Emma eyed Regina suspiciously, but exhaustion was taking over and she nodded, rolling back over on her side.

The older woman moved close once again, tangling her legs with the blonde’s. She rested her head on her pillow and listened contently to the slow, steady pattern of Emma’s breathing. Regina tried to will herself to sleep, but every time she closed her eyes, the image of her mother tortured her and an unbearable pain spread over her wound. Frustrated, she let out a sigh and spent the rest of the night counting the freckles on Emma’s back.

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Regina rested her elbows on her desk and buried her face in her hands. To put it simply, the Mayor was exhausted. She hadn’t slept for more than 3 hours a night the entire week and it was beginning to wear on her. Every single time she closed her eyes, the image of her mother seemed to all but jump at her and her pain grew more and more intense.

Emma had suggested she take one of the painkillers before bed to take off the edge and finally get some sleep. The blonde could see the dark circles under Regina’s eyes and how the littlest of things took all of her energy. But the brunette had resisted and assured she was fine, that the stress of daily life was taking its toll and that it would soon pass. She refused to give in to the idea that she was weak and needed the aid of _pills_ of all things to fix that.

But today, after day 6 of almost no sleep, Mayor Mills needed rest. She placed her palms on her desk and pushed herself to a standing position. Running her fingers through her hair, she glanced at the clock – 5:15pm. Her heels clicked rhythmically as she walked across her office and grabbed her long brown trench coat, wrapping it around herself. She dug her hands deep in each pocket and curled her right hand around cool metal keys. They jingled as she hooked two fingers in the keychain.

Regina bent slightly and set the alarm before making her way out of her office for the evening.

Her normal five minute drive home felt like days. She felt as though she were moving in slow motion and she drummed her fingers impatiently on the steering wheel, letting her eyes wander aimlessly around the expanse of the town as she came to a stop at a red light.

Regina’s eyes stopped roaming as the Sheriff’s office came into view. A soft smile spread across her face and she couldn’t help but wonder what the Sheriff- _her_ Sheriff – was doing right now. She stared through the window, hoping to catch a peak of bouncy blonde curls or that hideous red leather jacket she wanted to hate so much but simply couldn’t. The brunette frowned when she noticed that all the lights in the office were off and that Emma’s bug was nowhere to be found in the large parking lot. She didn’t usually end her shift until 6pm…

A loud honk startled Regina from her thoughts and she jumped, her hand immediately clutching her heart as it began to race. She looked in her rearview mirror to see a young woman – she wasn’t quite sure _who_ – pointing to the light above them. The Mayor glanced forward. Green. _Shit_.

“Sorry,” she mouthed into the mirror before pressing lightly on the gas pedal and making her way toward home.

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When Regina walked through the door, she was practically bear hugged by Emma. “Oh my god, thank god you’re ok,” the blonde breathed, her face buried in the Mayor’s silken hair.

Confused, the brunette pulled away from the embrace and eyed Emma suspiciously. “What on Earth are you talking about?” she asked, scrunching up her face in confusion.

“It was early release day for the kids. You had promised to pick Henry up and never showed up. We tried calling your office but we didn’t hear back from you-“

Regina’s eyes went wide. “Oh my god, it was early release.” She brought her hands up to her face and rubbed her forehead with the tips of her fingers. Her eyes darted around the room, looking for her son. “Is Henry ok? Is he here?” Her breathing was growing ragged in panic. The brunette leapt for the stairs but was stopped by a warm hand around her wrist.

“Hey, it’s ok. The school called and I came and got him.”

Now it all made sense. The Sherriff’s office closed, her Bug gone.

And the realization hit her. She had forgotten about her son. Wrapped and consumed in her own bullshit, the pain she was going through, she had left her son to stand outside alone, waiting.

“Oh my god,” she whispered. “Someone could have taken him. He could have tried to walk home and gotten hurt. He could have-“

Emma outstretched her arms, expecting Regina to fall into them in despair. Instead, the brunette wrapped her arms around herself and shuddered, closing her eyes and letting angry tears fall. “Listen,” the blonde began. She watched as Regina threw her coat and keys angrily on the couch – something she _never_ did, Miss Regina Homemaker -  and stormed into the kitchen. “You’ve got a lot going on right now. It slipped your mind. It’s ok.” Emma reached out and brushed her fingers through a few strands of the older woman’s hair.

Regina pulled away angrily. “It is _not_ ok. He is my _son_ , and I forgot about him. He is the most important thing in my life and I just…” Her voice trailed off as she slunk into one of the wooden chairs around her dining room table. She buried her face in her hands as she had earlier on her office desk and let a sob overwhelm her.

“Look,” Emma continued, sitting next to Regina and stroking her hair lovingly. “I’ve stayed here every night this week and you haven’t slept more than a couple of hours. Please-“ She reached out and took the brunette’s hand in hers – “take one of the pills Dr. Whale gave you and get some sleep. Your body is running on empty. You may think you’re infallible, Miss Superhero, but you’re not.”

Regina turned her gaze to meet Emma’s. “What about Henry?”

The blonde shrugged. “I’ll tell him you were sick with a bug today. It would explain why you’re going to bed so early as well. He’ll think nothing of it.”

Regina opened her mouth in protest, but closed it soon thereafter, too exhausted to fight. She nodded wearily. “Ok,” she said softly before walking up the stairs toward her bedroom.

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The brunette grasped the bottle of pills in her right hand, rolling it back and forth.

Regina Mills was never one for medication. From a young age, she had learned to face her pain head on and let it subside in time – or, in her heart’s case, come to terms with the fact that the dull ache would never leave. She had never given in to the idea of using outside sources to cure her pain. Relying on oneself was always the best option – she could pick herself up through any fight, any storm.  Regina had gone all her life without real comfort, and she feared that if she opened herself up to new facets of comfort – for both her physical _and_ emotional pain – that she would become addicted.

The brunette popped the cap of the bottle and eyed the capsules suspiciously. She tilted the bottle toward her palm and shook, two pills falling out into her hand. They were smooth and tiny, but they felt like a 100 pound weight in her grasp. Letting out a long sigh, she grabbed a cup from its place on the corner of the sink and filled it halfway with water.

Hesitantly, Regina brought the medication up to her lips and rested it on her tongue. She titled her head back and took two large sips of water. The capsules burned down her throat and left a vile taste in her mouth. She shuddered, willing them down and doing everything in her power not to vomit.

She shuffled out of the bathroom and back into her adjacent master bedroom. The brunette undressed quickly and walked over to her clothes drawer, pulling out the same grey ensemble Emma had put her in earlier that week.

Regina slunk into her side of the bed and pulled the blankets around her securely in her own little cocoon. She cursed herself as she realized she desperately missed the warmth of Emma’s body – in the little amount of time she had slept this week, the blonde had always been next to her, her comfort emanating from the other side of the bed.

Regina could feel sleep washing over her as her mind continued to race with conflicting thoughts.

_She loves you. You love her. She wants you and needs you and only wants to take care of you._

_She is deceiving you. You don’t love her. She’s just trying to lull you into a false sense of hope before packing up and leaving like she always does. She wants you to tell her all of your past and secrets and pain so she can use it against you._

_She loves you. She just wants to help. She wants to make you whole again._

_No she doesn’t._

**_Yes_ ** _, she does._

Emma Swan was becoming her drug of choice, and she wasn’t entirely sure whether that was a bad thing.

-S-Q-S-Q--S-Q-S-Q-S-Q-S-Q-S-Q-S-Q-S-Q-S-Q-S-Q-S-Q-S-Q-S-Q-S-Q-S-Q-S-Q-S-Q-S-Q-S-Q-S-Q-

_It took a moment for Regina to realize where she was. The purple smoke cleared and the darkness of the room washed over her. She was in her mother’s private chambers, a place she had only ever seen once in her lifetime. They were tucked away on the other side of the castle and even her father was forbidden to go there. There were rumors among the staff that she held prisoners in there, that she practiced the most torturous of magic on them. Regina flashed her eyes wildly around the room, half expecting the walls to be lined with men and women cuffed to the walls by their wrists and ankles._

_The room was dark with a simple twin sized bed in the corner, a few cabinets and drawers, and a large window that allowed Cora to see the expanse of the land outside their home. The wall on the adjacent side was cracked and damaged with numerous holes spread throughout it. It seemed young Regina wasn’t the only thing her mother took her anger out on._

_Cora angrily grabbed Regina by the cheek and forcefully snapped her head forward so they were facing one another. Her mother’s eyes were dark and angry; the girl could practically see red spiraling tendrils in the center of the older woman’s pupils. “You are a sneaky, conniving girl,” Cora hissed before digging her nails hard into Regina’s flesh. She pulled her hand away from her daughter’s face and began to circle around her in a stalking motion. “What exactly were you planning to do, dear?” The phrase of affection poured poisonously from the witch’s lips._

_“Mama, I wasn’t planning anyth-“_

_“Lies!” Cora hissed. “You were going to tell your darling father that I hurt you. You were going to pin everyone against me so that I would be banished from this land.” She stepped close to her daughter again, their noses only an inch apart. The stern, angry look on Cora’s face slithered into a coy, playful one. “You will never be rid of me, Regina. **Never**.”_

Regina turned in her sleep groggily as a warm body pinned against her. She opened her eyes and cleared her throat. Her vision was blurry , her voice deep and slurred with sleep. “Wha-“

“Shhh,” Emma cooed, turning the brunette gently back on her slide. “Go back to sleep. It’s just me.”

Regina narrowed her eyes and held her head. The medication had made her foggy and she found it difficult to function. “My mother,” she slurred, “never rid of…”

“Shhh,” the blonde said softly, kissing the back of Regina’s shoulder. “I’m here. Go back to bed.”

The brunette felt overcome with dizziness in her drugged state, and couldn’t muster the will to fight when sleep overpowered her once more.

_“You will never be rid of me, Regina. **Never**.” With a flick of Cora’s wrist, the girl spun so her back was to her mother’s front. _

_Regina could feel her mother’s stare through the back of her head and shivered. She opened her mouth to protest as Cora’s hands rested on her waist only to find that her voice had disappeared. A soft whimper crawled out and she buried her face in her hands, waiting for the next of her mother’s torturous movements._

_“As long as I am here,” Cora hissed in her ear, running her fingertip down Regina’s shoulder to where her back began, “you will obey me and do only as I say. I am conditioning you to be the best, and you will realize it someday. From now on, you won’t so much as walk down the hallway without my permission. And you most certainly,” the older woman placed her palm over the half stitched skin and pressed as hard as she could, “won’t run off to that dimwitted doctor or your backboneless father. Is that understood?”_

_Regina didn’t respond, merely let out a deep strangled cry._

_And then, without warning, Cora curled a fingernail deep within her daughter’s wounded skin and tugged at one of the newly placed stitches._

“Regina, Regina stop!” Emma screamed, her voice laced with fear and panic.

Regina’s eyes finally came to focus, but her mind and body were drugged, moving on their own accord. She was flailing, her hands clawing at her lower back and pulling at the skin. Thin little strands of thread lay in her hands and blood stained her flesh. She ground her teeth hard together.

Emma had a rough grasp around Regina, trying to pull the hands away from her wound. A loud sob escaped the blonde’s throat as the older woman continued to flail in her arms, grunting and groaning.

“Mama, n-no. No.” Regina’s cries were strangled, almost primal. Her breathing was strangled and she gasped loudly. She clawed at Emma’s hands around her lower back, slapping and digging deep.

The blonde pushed her own pain aside and tucked her lips close to the other woman’s ear. “Regina,” she cooed, her grasp rough around her wrists but her voice calm. She was trembling in fear and desperation but she continued to console the flailing woman in her arms. “Regina, I’m here. Come back to me. Oh god, please,” Emma’s voice was strangled.  “It’s only a nightmare.”

A moment later, Regina regained control of her body. She was no longer in her mother’s chambers, fighting with all her strength. She was in the comfort of her bedroom, the comfort of her lover’s arms.

And then she saw it. The blood, the stitching, the deep half moon indentations all over Emma’s skin. And worst of all, she saw the onslaught of tears flowing down the blonde’s face and panic flickering in her eyes.

Her mother had been right. She would never be rid of her. Cora was Regina Mills living nightmare.


End file.
